How are you feeling?
No really, how are your feelings?
The past two years have been somethin' else to say the least. Twists and turns, bumps and road blocks, growth and lessons, heartbreak and fear. I know many of us are trying to put on a brave face.
"Just keep going" we tell ourselves- for our kids, for our parents, for our jobs, our family and friends. "Just keep going" works on the outside, but it ties us tight inside. "Just keep going" can fill us with anxiety we've never experienced before, or depression, or anger outburst, brain fog, disassociation, sometimes emotions that don't seem to have an explanation.
It's okay to not be okay babe. Not being okay does not last forever. But you have to not be okay for a little bit before you can be okay again.
You are so brave. We all are. These last two years have quite literally turned our world upside down and divided us before we can come back together. Even if you haven't been personally affected to the extreme of some others, it's painful to witness the injustices coming to light. It's painful to witness deception, death, and the unknown.
My mission through this time has been to spread love through light because I feel you. I see you. I know how traumatic this time has been for all of us.
Through my calling I've uncovered some wisdom that I thankfully get to share with you.
My aunt was the first to share this wisdom with me. She said surrender has been the single thing that's gotten her through her toughest times. When she was at her wits end of trying to control her situation, she laid in bed, opened her arms and surrendered to what is. That stuck with me in my soul, although I often forgot about it until I needed it. I'm assuming you've heard this before too, so here is your reminder.
Surrendering is allowing what is to be. That means letting go of how you think something should be or want something to be, and letting go of wishing for things to be different. We can't change what's happening outside of us, but we can change what's happening inside.
The human body (like literally our biology) doesn't want to be in pain, in fact being in pain whether it’s emotional, mental or physical is like being in physical danger to the body. It may seem extreme, but to our nervous system feelings like fear, anger, guilt, shame, anxiety, and stress mean we could die. Because our system perceives these emotions as threats to our lives, and because most of us are unaware that this is what’s happening in our bodies, we fear feeling uncomfortable and will literally do anything to escape it.
This desire to escape emotional pain often results in shoving down emotions or thoughts that we don't want to see. We misinterpret how to handle our pain so we push ourselves and put pressure on ourselves to just get over it already. Sometimes we ignore the pain completely claiming that we're "fine."
Having uncomfortable emotions is half of human existence. We ALL experience them. Life is about contrast for us, and we most likely won't be absent of negative feelings all together. When we distort our feelings and chase happiness, when we become unwilling to experience half of what life has to offer, we carry the world on our shoulders and create DIS-EASE in the body.
Surrendering doesn't mean doing nothing about your situation, no. It means adjusting yourself accordingly. Surrendering involves trusting that the universe has your back and any "road block" is a redirection to something better. We may know what we want, but we don't always know when the best time to have that thing is. Sometimes what you ask for requires lessons first. Sometimes you're not ready to receive what it is that you want. WOAH. I know.
Take this simple example. Say you're a weight lifter. And you want to be able to squat 400lbs. Well you can't walk into the gym one day and just lift that much weight. You have to train yourself and work your way up to your goal. Often that doesn’t just mean lifting weights in a simply progression either- there’s proper diet adjustments, sleeping adjustments, and variable training depending on how your body is progressing. There are lessons you have to learn and experiments you have to make along the way and sometimes things come up that you couldn’t have predicted when you started.
How do I surrender?
It starts with an idea first. A feeling and a burst of creative energy. Like my ideas for launching our Halloween and holiday collections!
Then I take action to make that thing happen. I know it’s going to work, I want to do it and it feels REALLY REALLY good. I start shopping for this collection through the glass distributors I’ve used and trust.
I schedule my pick up and keep moving forward with the anticipation of how awesome these holiday candles are going to be. I practice my social media posting, I start blogging, I find entrepreneur podcasts, I talk about my business, brand new business cards, make new networking connections, plan pop ups etc.
We pick up the limited amount of vessels I could find, just to find out that half of what I wanted is now out of stock.
I feel the anger, I feel the nervousness, I feel the regret for not ordering earlier in the year. I feel a little resentment at my budget because if only I had more money at the time, I could have been prepared and received all the vessels I wanted- not to mention needed for my events and amazing customers! I let myself express that anger, I sat with the feelings. I acknowledged and validated my own feelings all while knowing that I could figure this out.
When roadblocks come up and I have these feelings, I talk to my feelings like a little kid. That little kid was so excited to get the halloween costume she wanted, but when she finally recieved it, she realized it wasn’t like the picture she saw. Pieces were missing and she was disappointed. If your child was reacting to this situation, how would you console her? Would you blame the costume company and resent them forever? Or would you soothe your child’s feelings and take this opportunity to show him/her what being resilient means?
I have what I have. I’m excited about what I have. Now I get to fill in the empty spaces with new solutions and opportunities.
I’ve always wanted to move toward a more environmentally friendly business, so we took this "roadblock" as an opportunity to launch our recycle initiative (READ BELOW FOR INFO).
I had a feeling about this random store one day, so I went in and bought merchandise I didn’t know I would find.
I’m launching a collection that might not have been the collection I had envisioned, but it’s still happening and it’s probably better than the original plan I had.
I surrendered to my circumstance. I allowed myself to feel because holding those feelings in only creates resistance. Because I was willing to allow my situation to be, I was able to think of creative solutions and allow the universe to support my vision.
My experience is nothing out of the ordinary. You can take mine and apply it to your life. You can surrender and lift that weight from your shoulders. The universe has your back, your emotions have your back- both love you unconditionally.
Welcome to September 2021. We are launching our recycle initiative! Bring us any clear glass to Crooked Creek Furniture and Gifts or to one of our Pop-Up events and receive a dollar off per glass on your next purchase. Glasses must be crack/chip free- AKA capable of holding water without leaking.
Our Halloween collection will be launching Wednesday September 29th! Mark your calendars because most of these pieces are one of a kind. Here’s a little sneak peak into what surrendering brought me!
So there it is. Surrendering to follow the best path for you. Of course it can be uncomfortable at times, so light a candle. Let that light be your reminder that you'll find the light again. Let that candle be your comfort in being uncomfortable.
Love always, Juls Candles.