If you're anything like me, you grew up chasing a perfection in hopes that it would guarantee praise from others. If you're anything like me, you've lived a good chunk of your life under your own pressure to perform better, bigger, more!
If you're anything like me, you experience emotional outbursts from burn out. That pressure is just TOO MUCH!
If you're anything like me, (which I think anyone reading this is) my main goal in life is to be happy.
All I want is to enjoy my life as a compilation of wonderful moments! Well honey, I want it bad.. so I'm hyper aware of anything that doesn't fit the bill. So far, I've decided that responsibilities, things that people tell me I have to do and things I think I need to do haven't been contributing to those "wonderful moments."
What a great discovery to make. *insert eyeroll*
For a long time I would have rather focused on anything but things that felt like responsibilities. Avoidance is a flight response. In other words, my solution to the feelings I didn't like was to
RUN B*TCH RUN!
It caused some bumpy roads in my life and unfinished experiences. Thank God for Juls Candles because this business is full of responsibilities and to-do lists that make me extremely uncomfortable. This time I refuse to run away. I'm choosing a different response- I'm choosing to face the emotion and solve the problem rather than ignore that it's there.
I started this post with the intention of explaining why finding ways to have fun is important, and I will be getting there! But I think this post was also an opportunity for me to communicate something to you
There are many solutions to the problems that you face. If you're looping in a circumstance, it's time to choose differently.
Sometimes there are things in life that we really can't escape. We can't always change the job right when we want to, or dip out on our kids, or change our physical location at the drop of a hat. But what we can do is change our mindset about it, because being happy is a choice we can make in any moment. It's an emotion we generate from inside. Sometimes all it takes is a new perspective on an old situation.
Over the last few months I've done quite a bit of reflecting on the things that weren't bringing me joy, and I noticed that working Juls Candles was stressing me TF out. Not sorry I said it, I had to say it because it's the truth! (You can't change anything unless you admit how you're actually feeling) I didn't realize that I had been trying to fit into a standard of what I thought people wanted the business to look like. My posts were like everyone else's, the product I bought was mainstream, even my branding was vanilla because I was watching internet popular businesses hype up minimalism and neutral colors.
I'm good at that style, I can pull it off! But it wasn't feeding my soul. It made me shy even further away from emails, blog posts, getting our name on pinterest or even sharing our name when I went to events unrelated to work. It was keeping me playing small because I wasn't expressing myself the way I wanted to.
So to tie this all in a pretty little bow: I realized that I didn't hate responsibilities and tasks. I realized that I hated pretending to be something I'm not. It was sucking my life dry of joy. If I don't have joy, then I can't spread joy to others.
"Spreading love through light"
I was in the middle of putting together an order and I just had this looming feeling of resentment and anger. Anger at myself mostly. I told myself, "Well if I can't be happy right now, then I'm going to send as much happiness and love as I possibly can to this customer through her order. I can't feel my own happiness, but I know I can send it to her." Our motto woke me up.
I went home that night and my creativity exploded. I started making these wild graphics with cut out products and floral patterns. I started using colors that were off season and making images that I hadn't seen anyone with a product business do before. After sending love that day to my customers, I received the love back and decided that I wasn't going to play inside a box anymore. I'm taking a risk and choosing to think differently about what I'm doing. I didn't just tell myself I didn't care what people thought about it, I felt it in my bones. Because I knew deep down that the more fun I had, the more our message would be received. The more people would be seen and would see who I was too.
We've said it a million times: this is so much more than a business. Juls Candles is an avenue for us to express ourselves and our truths. It's a place for us to feel safe in being ourselves. When we express our creativity, I believe it inspires others to do the same. The more fun we have, the more fun you have. Juls Candles becomes an oasis of good feelings and good times. It becomes my life goal, but even better because I get to share it with all of you.
The more fun you have in your life, the more your life aligns with that fun. Its an energetic thing, but it's also biology. If you change your mindset to finding fun in anything that you do, you're brain will get used to picking out what's fun in your life. You don't just attract it, you actually see it. You start to get creative about how you can have more fun exactly where you are. The world is full of suffering, so when you live from fun, others get the benefit of it too! You know how good it feels to see someone in public laughing and engaging in joy? That could be you too, doing that for someone else.
Here are some journaling prompts that I've shared with my life coaching clients- free to you through Juls Candles. Don't be afraid to be honesty. From honesty comes awareness. Awareness precedes change.
What is my life goal? How do I want to feel throughout my life?
What gives me energy?
What drains my energy?
What can I say no to (or take out of my life) that's draining my energy?
What can I not take out of my life that's draining me? Why is it draining me?
What do I wish to be different about this thing?
How can I make this different on my own? How can I make a change here without relying or setting expectations on anyone else?
How can I add more of what gives me energy into my daily life?
Am I willing to make these changes? (If yes, make a plan to incorporate these changes every day, if no, that's great! Explore why and trust that the awareness of what's not right will bring you to the next step you need to take)
Come join me on Facebook where I will be going live once a week to share the messages I'm spreading in this blog! I'll be playing with the days and times for a while until we find something that works for a lot of us.
This week I'll be going live Tuesday. Check your inbox for the time and what to bring! I'm thinking we'll craft something.