You ever feel trapped in doing things for other people? Like the wheel is always turning for you and you're constantly spinning around should dos, want to dos, and have to dos? You ever feel a sense of guilt when you do something that YOU want to do? Or maybe that guilt is so strong that you never get to the thing you want to do at all. Maybe instead you do something for someone else even though you're exhausted because at least they won't be angry with you and at least you won't feel like an a** hole.
I have, and I hate it there. Constantly going and moving and achieving and working so hard for approval from others is incredibly draining. It's the highway to burn out and for me burn out leads to anger and resentment. For a while I channeled that resentment at society and it's high expectations enforced by collective worker bee virtues and perfectionist attempts at success. I noticed just how many things I was doing because I thought I had to do them, and became more angry when I started seeing that a lot of the things I was told to do weren't half of what they were sold to be.
My exercise routine wasn't really that healthy for my body. SCAM.
The dietary restrictions were based on science just as strong as different dietary restrictions. OPINION.
Getting straight A's in school didn't guarantee a high paying job, creative problem solving and hard work did. ILLUSION.
Being in a relationship didn't solve all of my life problems and make me feel loved. FANTASY.
Having a lot of friends and being cool didn't give me a sense of purpose or make me feel understood. SURFACE LEVEL.
Working more hours didn't equate to making more money. LACK MINDSET.
After I had been cataloging the missed marks for some time, one day I realized that my actions weren't society's fault. I mean no one was coming to my door and forcing me to live within these standards! There aren't people laying out the actions of my life and shaming me when I don't succeed. That's all in my head. And I knew I couldn't live the rest of my life angry at something I couldn't do anything about. I wanted my power back.
I always have a choice in how I live my life- people do it all the time- happily! No, I wasn't going to be angry with society anymore. I realized the truth was, I was angry at myself for not honoring my own desires, my own boundaries, my own energy and passions. I was angry with myself for not honoring my soul and my unique purpose. I was angry with myself for making myself small.
When Zoe came back from Colorado, we had quite a few conversations about what direction we wanted to take the business and how we wanted to work together. Because of my life coaching experience, I felt it was important to follow what we wanted to do more than what we think we should do based on the models we've seen from others. We both agreed that doing what we WANTED to do would make us a lot more happy and allow us to grow the business without resenting the work load or any of the growing pains we experienced.
We agreed that our business would fit into our lives. We would use it as an asset to get living. We would say yes to things that made us feel good and deny things that didn't. We agreed to trust ourselves and never deny our truths.
Looking back now, I think my mom did this in her own way throughout the Juls Candles years. While she did strive to make her customers happy beyond what her energy could handle at times, she always followed her own creativity unapologetically. She made business decisions in her own way and grew the success that she saw.
This is what GET LIVING means to us. It means get living your own dang life! It means taking risks and trusting your desires. It means trying new things without fearing what others will think. It means pioneering your own path and lighting the way for others. Get living means experiencing things because you want to, not because you have to. It also means having healthy NOs and releasing the guilt you feel for saying no. Get living means loving yourself and loving the life you create.
How are we getting living?!
We are honoring our own energy and releasing the fear that our customers will be angry with us if our timing isn't perfect
We are scheduling pop-ups and choosing events that make our hearts sing!
We are coming up with creative solutions to "problems" that Juls Candles presents. They aren't roadblocks, they are redirections.
We are taking time off from work to live our lives with friends, family and social activities that light up our souls
We are taking rest days when we need them, which is often
We are experimenting with products and sales and events we've never tried before just to see if we like them. Just to see if they work- FOR US
We're getting ourselves out there and allowing what's meant for us to come to us.
We are supporting others because we know that everyone is just trying their best
We are letting go of what other successful people are doing, and defining what success means to us
So here are some questions to ask yourself if you're feeling that sense that something is missing. Here's your chance to be honest with yourself.
I'm I happy doing all of the things on my to-do list?
What's one thing that's causing me to feel anger no matter how many different ways I think about it?
What's one thing I would like to say no to more often?
What am I afraid of by doing so? Is this even true? or is it a story in my head?
What do I desire doing that I haven't committed to yet?
If I were to have the thing I wanted, what would that look like in a perfect world?
Light a candle, let the truth flow! It's your life and it's important for you to get living it. It's never too late.
Join us Tuesday at 7pm for another continued conversation about this topic on Facebook Live! Click below.
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